Updated: Sep 23, 2018
2018 is a challenge. 2017 was a dream.
Last year I was in a beautiful relationship with a French man, living a lovely Parisian lifestyle, I had a new job, friends, we travelled, fell in love. This year all that came to a crashing end. First I lost the boy, then the apartment (not related to the boy), then my best friend, then I started fu**ing up at work and my boss gave me a slamming mid-year review. Oh and I've also become a borderline alcoholic, brewing for years and now in full flow…
I'm also 35 and thought I would be having my first kid this year with said beautiful French boy.
I am now displaced working on a French contract but living with my mum and stepfather in Hampstead London, my stepfather makes no attempt to disguise the fact he does not want me there. My behaviour doesn't help, they have taken to hiding all bottles in broom cupboards, but I have a nose for this and still manage to hoover up all their finest wines. I also have a habit of bringing strays back to their house some just to drink with, some a cheeky pash but nothing more, I'm not there. Why would my stepfather not want his charming stepdaughter living with him?
Ok I don't (that I know of) have cancer, I have a loving family (who are fast losing patience with me), I have a few friends also losing patience, and I have some talents: I play tennis quite well but never play points, I'm known as the crosscourt forehand Drill Sergeant at my mother's tennis club. I draw, paint mainly pictures of my boyfriend's (can't bring myself to put the two little letters in front of that word) desist mother. I play the same three pieces on the piano that I Iearnt when I was 17 years old – self-taught I might add – I did get my grade 8 on the flute around the same age but have never picked it up since. I do speak French and a sprinkling of Spanish, but I always say languages are like a suntan if you don't top them up then they fade. Faded - that's a good way to describe me.
Some people have an issue with perfection, if they can't do something excellently they don't do it at all or get so stressed they end up not enjoying it. I have problems but that's not one of them, I'll happily cruise along and do everything badly. Now I have started writing, this will be the same.
Fear not, I am not going to fill pages and pages with depression. I'm going to use this blog as an outlet for my thoughts, experiences and muses. Hopefully, some of you can connect with or simply enjoy the posts. As my wise uncle has a habit of saying, 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade'.